120415-------i don;t like the way i live now.

i feel so frucuated .
thedeprssion feeling comes again.stay around me.
the second midterm score of Econ812 comes out, although i imporve in some degree ,but is still not enough for me to pass that exam.
i feel so bad.
why i always can't do things well.
since when i become so bad at studying, i can't learn anything.
how  can i jump out this crap situation.?
i know it must be i do sth bad so that i stunk in this situation.
what's my strength , how can ibe a person i wanna be .


too many  restrictions  hinder myself to persue the life i dream about.

1:ages.time
2:money .
3:people''s view ,for dropping the master degree.

what is my dream?
1 can speak a fluencency foreign languages
2.teache kids in languages.
3.or become a translator.

someone guide me here ,i actually don;t know it that really my dream. i can figure out something new.

how to achieve:
1.go to language school to learn more .
strength: save money while i have a reason to stay here.
weakness:kinda of waste time ,i can't learn much thing from there.

2.learn by myself.
stength:i  can just stay in china.and learn it .
weakness: less effectiveness, the outcome of this is unexpected.


3.to choose another major inUS.
strength: i  can enjoy the major which i love,and start my real study.
weakness: uncertainty of those major, can not sure it is the same as i expected.
 need time and money to finish it .


i  mess up my life now .
how can i converge it to the way i love.
messy.